The world is so full of players and man-eaters, it’s easy to get lost in the game. It’s also easy to believe romance and chivalry are dead.
After all, the bad boys and bitches of the world are addicting! They are full of adventure; they don’t care what anyone else thinks, and they live life a little differently. The downside is they treat you like a frequently-used toilet plunger.
It starts with the little things, like maybe he doesn’t open the door for you, or she never listens to what you have to say.
Sometimes, she doesn’t text you back, but, hey, look! She just tweeted about Lady Gaga’s Oscar performance, so she’s definitely by her phone. Or, he’s only ever down to hang when it’s super late and you’ve both been drinking.
Your extensive experience with bad “relationships” has taught you to put up with the type of behavior that would make your mom or dad cringe.
But, then, someone comes in and shuffles the cards for your dating game.
He makes you question why on earth you put up with such awful treatment before. She baffles you when you expect her to pull some bitchy move and stomp all over your heart, but she doesn’t.
You see each other when it’s not late and you’re not drinking, and dare I say, you even go on a date!
Maybe it isn’t love (yet), and you won’t get married and have kids with this person, but he or she gave you a dose of reality, and man did it lead you to have quite a few epiphanies:
1. Wow, this person thinks I am worth something…
Maybe she doesn’t show it in big ways, but it’s impressive when she remembers something stupid you told her two weeks ago.
You think, “Wow. Someone actually thought what I was saying was important enough to store in the filing system of her brain.”
Or, maybe, you told him something deep, and he didn’t freak out or run away. Instead, he sat next to you and hugged you for a while.
You never have to lie to yourself that he’s good for you, or make excuses for her. This epiphany fills your heart with happiness and hope, two things that had been lacking for quite some time.
Slowly, you realize this person thinks you are special.
2. …Because I am.
Not only do you realize someone thinks you are special, but you also realize you are special.
You look in the mirror and start talking to yourself saying, “Hey, sexy.” It’s not that he or she gave you confidence, but he or she did help you realize exactly how strong and beautiful you are.
And, dang, now that you have this newfound self-love, you’ll never give it up.
3. Why did I put up with all the douchebags?
Along with your new confidence, you wolfed down a slice of humility like a piece of apple pie.
You feel so stupid when you look back and remember you fell for the guy whose pick-up line was, “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
Damn, you were stupid then. How did you ever dive so low in the dating pool that you only picked up the bottom feeders?
It probably started at the end of a bad relationship that sent you to rock bottom, and then, some lucky fluke happened and he or she picked up the broken pieces.
When that didn’t work out, you stayed down at the bottom and dealt with more flukes until you resolved to flounder at the bottom forever.
That is, until you bit the hook and a fisherman (or woman) pulled you to safety. Or, you just never knew you deserve much better treatment.
4. How could I ever fall for a player again? It’s easy: I won’t.
After the royal treatment, you raise your standards, as you should. The next time you go out into the game, you know what to look for.
You know how to identify the players and their moves. This time, biceps and booty won’t blind you. No amount of smooth talking will win you over.
5. Thank you.
I’m not saying this person totally saved your life, but he or she kind of did. At the rate your self-esteem was going, a piece of gum on Detroit’s sidewalk could have been valued higher than you valued yourself.
This person made you pause and think about your love life and how badly previous people treated you.
Even if it doesn’t end up working out with this person, which it most likely won’t, considering how damaged you are, you still want to thank him or her.
Thanks to him, you are switching up the way you date to avoid the bottom feeders beneath you.
Though she may not be the one to whom you pledge the rest of your life, she helped fish you out from dark, murky waters so you could see all the nice and colorful fish in the sea.
Megan Swiatkowski CONTRIBUTOR
Megan is a contributing writer who will graduate from Penn State University in 2015 with a broadcast journalism degree. Megan loves to exercise and enjoy time outdoors! You can view more of her work at http://meganswiatkowski94.wordpress.com. via elitedaily.
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